


I Love You

by Syncro



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 18:36:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20934875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syncro/pseuds/Syncro
Summary: Justin Foley was in Love with Clay Jensen. He was fine with his feelings being one-sided. However, Clay changed the playing field when he told Justin 'I love you.' Justin did not know how to react.





	I Love You

If anyone asked Justin when he first realized his feelings for Clay went far beyond simple adoptive brotherhood he would say when Clay first utter the words, I love you. That would 100% be a lie, because the first time he realized he had feelings for Clay of any kind was when he saw him with Hannah at Kat’s going away party.

* * *

Justin had known for a while that he was bisexual, which he was cool with, he just had no intention of coming out during high school, because high school sucked.

He first notice Clay Jensen when he was looking for Jeff Atkins. Justin found Jeff in the library being tutored by Clay. He took a minute before approaching them when he spotted them. Jeff apparently said something which made Clay burst into laughter. Several people shushed him. The only thing Justin remembered was thinking that Clay’s laugh was really nice.

Justin had seen Clay in the past, he had classes with him after all, is just that before that day he really didn’t have any form of assessment regarding the other boy except for thinking he was quiet. That would completely change after he heard Clay Jensen laugh. All of a sudden, he noticed him everywhere he went. He noticed him more during class, a rare few times at parties, sometimes at games, at school assemblies, and on some occasions, he would bump into him outside of school. He remembered at some point thinking he was cute.

The first time he almost had a real conversation with Clay was when he had been assigned as his partner for a class project. Clay had been on his way to speak to Justin, to exchange contact information. Justin had a small (major) freak out and immediately change partners with Kat. He ended up working with Bryce while Clay worked with Kat. Justin watched them exchange words and couldn’t help but notice how well they got along. He didn’t care. He would however ask Kat out at the end of the week, no relation whatsoever.

* * *

Justin first took noticed of Hannah at Kat’s going away party. He had been play fighting around with Zach, when all of a sudden, his girlfriend called him out. When he turned, his eyes first landed on Clay before his girlfriend. Kat would ask him and Zach to leave that night. Justin would remember how Clay’s eyes and attention would continually shift towards Hannah. If anyone asked him, he would deny feeling jealous. After all, they had yet to even interact. However, Justin realized he could no longer denied he had some type of feeling for Clay Jensen. That was annoying because the kid was just so awkward.

The next time he would take notice of Hannah was once school started and he saw her with Clay. It somehow always lead back to him for some reason. He did not like them together, so he did something he was good at, flirting, not with Clay of course. It worked, he would get to meet Hannah at the park and spend a lovely night.

What followed was not so lovely. He hated how weak he was. He hated that he didn’t stop Bryce from taking his phone and spreading that picture which he only took as a joke. That picture he only showed to live up to his teammate’s expectations of him. He wanted to fit in and be cool. Sealing the deal with a girl was always cool, even though it never happened with Hannah everyone assumed as much. He knew she hated him; she got her chance to say as much when he tried to apologize to her. Justin didn’t push further, because he was not going to tell the truth. He was selfish that way. He didn’t like how Clay would look at him from here on out. Justin noticed there was a form of hatred in his stare. It made Justin feel sad, which was stupid, given they had never properly interacted at all.

* * *

Justin's life has always sucked. Sure, he was popular, but when your mother was a drug addict and had dangerous boyfriends, being popular hardly matter when assessing your quality of life. He figured the fact that his real life sucked so much was the reason he enjoyed his popularity so much. At least one aspect of his life wasn’t totally fucked up. That, like apparently all things in his life, would eventually come crashing down. 

First, Bryce raped Jessica which he never expected to happen. He definitely did not think he would help defend him. But what else was he supposed to do. Bryce had protected him during most of his life, during the times Justin thought about ending everything because he didn’t have anything worth caring for. Bryce helped him through those. He tried to stop Bryce and failed. Once it happened, he figured Jessica would rather not know. She didn’t even remember; she was that drunk. He knew he was just telling himself some bullshit in order to be able to go on pretending nothing had happened. Without having to choose where his loyalties lies. But isn’t that what humans do. Denial is such a powerful coping mechanism. Is probably what allow humans to get through life. Because more often than not life sucks and isn’t that fucked up.

Second, that secret was not limited to Bryce, Jessica, and himself. There was another witness, one who would end up taking her life and leaving 13 tapes depicting why she did so. Justin would be the only one who would be on the tapes twice. He considered taking his own life multiple times afterwards. He would blame Clay for all the hardships following this because, he was the only one he could blame without blaming himself.

Funny thing is, the truth has a way of coming up one way or another. The truth would come out, which would lead to Jessica breaking up with him. Is odd thinking about it now, because Justin liked Jessica. She was the only girl he liked in recent years that didn’t have any relation whatsoever with Clay Jensen. It was also the girl he failed the most.

He would end up leaving everything behind when she ended things with him. Then fucking Clay Jensen would show up again like a knight in shining armor ready to save him and all of Justin’s repressed feelings came to the surface once more. However, Justin ended up being the one in a position to rescue Clay and his mission, AKA Bryce’s downfall. The real truth is that they ended up saving each other. Clay helped Justin make amends for his wrong doings. Justin was simply there for Clay. Justin became something which Clay never had. Somebody there at all times, unconditionally, which wouldn’t let him fester in his solitude. Maybe that was what Hannah needed, maybe that was what everyone needed, somebody that could be there when the loneliness became too much.

Justin would stop Clay from making the biggest mistake of his life. He would also stop Bryce from ruining Clay’s life. He would then help Clay in taking care of Tyler.

The fact was that things had come to a point where Justin would give everything for Clay because he loved him. When he took the gun from Clay was the first time, he realized his feelings for Clay were of the kind of love that would never go away. Justin would do anything to protect him and the other didn’t even notice. He didn’t resent Clay. Justin knew Clay was still trying to get over Hannah. He also knew Clay may spend the rest of his life getting over Hannah and he could not resent him, especially because he had been two of the reasons why she took her life. 

* * *

After Bryce’s death Justin would for the first time ever tell Clay I love you. Clay would respond with a me to. Clay didn’t understand what Justin meant was far more than familial or brotherly love. Justin was ok with it. After all, he didn’t expect Clay to return his feelings.

Nevertheless, Justin hated Ani with a passion due to the way she made Clay feel and act. She had this way of undoing Clay which only Hannah Baker had been able to do.

Clay would end up dating Ani until graduation when they broke up. When Justin asked him what happened, Clay would respond with “Ani thinks I’m in love with you” and Justin would just stop functioning because what the fuck.

* * *

“What?” asked Justin in shock.

“I don’t know man” was Clay’s response as he took a sip of water. They were at Monet’s celebrating with their friends.

“Why, why would she think you’re in love with me?”

Clay sighed “in her own words, we spend most of our time together, can’t be apart for too long, and chose where we are going to college together.”

Justin didn’t know how to respond because Ani was 100% right about Justin’s feelings, however, she was wrong about Clay’s. Clay didn’t love Justin like that.

“I mean I love you Justin” Justin’s heart skipped a beat at that “you have become such a huge part of my life; in ways I didn’t think I needed.”

“Stop… you’re the one who became part of my life and saved me.”

Clay smiled at that “we saved each other” Justin smiled back at him. “But I don’t think I love you in the romantic sense.”

Although Justin knew the statement was coming it still hurt a lot, and then his brain caught up with a particular word “you think?”

Clay blushed at that “I just mean I’m not 100% sure, really, how do you perfectly differentiate which type of love your feeling?”

This was a dangerous conversation. Justin didn’t want to get his hopes up but some small part of him couldn’t help the flutter in his stomach at the sliver of hope that maybe Clay felt for him something more than platonic love. “It’s different, when you’re in love with someone, you can’t stop thinking about them, you want to be with them all the time, just seeing them can turn a shitty day into an amazing one, when something goods happens you want to tell them first before anyone else, and when their happy or proud of you, you feel like the luckiest person in the world, and wonder how you were so lucky to have them in your life in the first place… and you pray to whomever is out there listening that they let the person you love always be in your life because you don’t think you would be able to live without them.”

Clay took in Justin’s words and couldn’t help but think that it made sense. All of this applied to Hannah. He didn’t really know how he actually manage to get over her death.

Then Clay took a really long look down memory road and couldn’t help but realize it also applied to Justin. When he had a bad day just going back home and seeing Justin, even when he was sleeping made thinks better. More often than not Clay would rather spent his time with Justin than with anyone else. That included his now ex-girlfriend, Ani. Justin was the first person he told off his College acceptance letter and he had been so happy for Clay that he couldn’t help but be even happier. He was thankful of having Justin in his life and he didn’t know what he would do if he ever disappeared.

Also, Clay had never admitted this to anyone, but Justin has started in several of his sexual fantasies. Clay told himself this was just something that happened because he was sexually frustrated and Justin was always around, and shirtless, and had a very pretty smile, and Clay had walked in on him when he was masturbating, more than once.

Clay could not be in love with Justin. Ani could not be right about this. Clay and Justin’s relationship was perfect as it was. Love could not just decide to insert itself in this relationship and shake it to is core. Clay all of sudden noticed Justin snapping his fingers in front of him. Justin was saying something that Clay had not followed. “I’m sorry what?”

Justin frowned “I asked if you’re ok?”

“I’m totally fine, why?” Clay was freaking out and trying to understand what was happening.

“You kind of zone out and have your I’m freaking out face.”

“I don’t have a face like that.”

“Yes, you do.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.”

“No, I don’t!”

Justin was getting frustrated “Clay, just tell me what you’re thinking.”

Clay swallowed nervously “I’m thinking about how you define romantic love and how… it all really applies to you” Justin did not respond. Clay had no idea of what to make of his face and in typical Clay fashion he continue speaking instead of shutting up “I think I’m in love with you” when Clay said that out loud it was like all the pieces of a puzzle perfectly coming together and then as he looked back in his life with Justin he could not believe how there was room for any doubts regarding what he felt towards the other boy “I love you, I’m in love with you.”

Justin stopped functioning once more, because what the fuck. He couldn’t help but wonder if he was dreaming and today had yet to actually happen. Justin took in Clay’s features and he appeared nervous and vulnerable. He knew he need to say something. Anything that would take away that nervousness from Clay, but he couldn’t find the words and the silence just stretched on until it became unbearable.

“I’m sorry, I’m going to go now, I think I’ll just go for a walk, I’ll see you at home” said Clay with regret and hurt in his voice. Clay gave Justin one of his awkward trademark smiles as he walk out of Monet. Justin just saw him walk away, not saying anything or following. He really should have done one or the other, maybe both.

Clay had no idea where he was going, he was just walking around and after an hour or so did the only logical thing he could do. He called Tony and asked him if he could pick him up. He send his location via phone.

* * *

“Where’s Clay?” asked Jessica.

“He said he was going for a walk” responded Justin as he drank his fifth coffee.

“Is he coming back?” she asked sensing something was wrong.

“I’m not sure, things were kind of awkward” responded the boy as he was still replaying in his head what transpired earlier.

“Why?”

“No big deal… he just told me he was in love with me… and I didn’t say anything back” he was an idiot. He still couldn’t believe he just let him walk away without responding.

“Oh Justin” Jessica wasn’t angry, she was just disappointed. She wished she was a lesbian, because fucking boys.

“I know I should have said something” responded Justin in frustration as he walked over and took a sit in a remote couch. Jessica followed close behind.

“How do you feel about his confession?”

Justin would rather be anywhere than here “it was weird and unexpected” not a lie, but not the truth.

Jessica sighed “anything else?”

Justin frowned “Ani broke up with him because she thinks he was in love with me” Jessica nodded waiting for him to continue “what if he is just confused? What if he doesn’t love me? What if he just believes he does because she just put the idea in his head?”

Jessica shook her head in frustration “you’re an idiot.”

“That’s all you got to say?” he was looking for some real advice.

Jessica looked Justin in the eyes as she ushered her next words “he confessed, his choice, his words, don’t twist his intentions and feeling because of your unfounded insecurities, because Clay is going to think his feeling are unwanted and undesirable, and he will move on from you and fall in love with someone else.”

Justin couldn’t help but frown at that “that’s good I don’t even feel that way about Clay” he said while pouting.

Jessica chuckled “Justin, currently the only person that doesn’t realizes how you really feel about Clay is Clay himself.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means everyone knows you’re in love with Clay” Justin was in shocked because surely no one noticed that, he hid it so well “we talk about it all the time.”

“I’m sorry we? who is we?” Justin has had enough surprises for one day.

“What are we talking about?” asked Zach as he walked over to the two of them and joined the conversation.

“Noth-” “about how Justin is in love with Clay” interrupted Jessica.

“Jessica would you shut up” spoke Justin in frustration and fear.

“Oh, don’t worry dude, everyone knows that, don’t worry we have not told Clay, we got your back” said Zach good naturedly.

Jessica snorted at Justin’s embarrassed face “so listen to this, Clay confessed to him and the idiot didn’t respond at all, he just let Clay walked away believing his feelings were not reciprocated” said Jessica without any pity whatsoever.

Zach looked between Justin and Jessica as he try to determine if this was true “is she for real?” Zach took Justin silence as confirmation “you idiot” said Zach as he took a sit next to Justin. “That was probably what Tony’s phone call was about.”

That picked Justin’s interest “what phone call?”

“I overhead Tony on the phone about having to leave to pick Clay up. Based on how Tony was responding Clay was really upset about something… now I know what.”

“Did you hear where Clay was?”

“No, sorry man.”

Justin shook his head “is not your fault, I shouldn’t have let him leave like that.”

It was Jessica who spoke next “so what are you going to do now?”

Justin thought about it, really thought about it. He was still unsure how factual Clay’s sudden feelings for him were. He didn’t want to be his rebound. But he couldn’t help but wonder what if they were real. Justin has been looking at Clay for a long time. Too long if he was going to be honest with himself. If he could have this, if he could have Clay’s love, he wanted it, no question.

“I need to speak with him, and I guess tell him how I feel” he was scared but he needed to be honest.

“Yes, good answer, now go home and wait for him” said Jessica exasperated “idiot.”

“Right” said Justin as he left Monet’s and then came back a few moments later “me and Clay got a ride with Tony so can someone give me a ride home?”

Jessica just shook her head again in disappointment and judgement of her ex, while Zach got up and took his keys out of his pocket “I got you buddy.”

“Thanks man” he then look at Jessica “also thanks Jess.”

“Your welcome, don’t mess up, and let me know how it went.”

“Will do Jess” said Justin with one of his trademark happy smiles. 

* * *

Tony and Caleb picked Clay up and brought him to their place. Currently Tony was sitting with his friend in the couch while Caleb prepared some tea for all of them.

“So, you want to tell me what happened?” asked Tony once he couldn’t handle the silence anymore.

“I messed up” was all he said in a broken voice.

“I’m going to need something more than that Clay.”

Clay hesitated for a moment but figured if there was someone, he could discuss this with it was Tony “I told Justin I was in love with him.”

Tony was not expecting that at all “ok, what did Justin say?”

Clay snorted at the question “he didn’t say anything, but he sure looked disappointed.”

Caleb joined them as he handed a cup of tea to each of them “are you sure disappointment is what you saw, because Justin cares about you, a lot.”

“I know he does, but he sees me as his brother, not someone to fall in love with” said Clay disappointedly “I’m so stupid, how could I just tell him I love him and risk our entire friendship like that.”

Tony and Caleb shared a look because Justin Foley did not look at Clay the way a brother or friend would. Tony choose his next words carefully “Clay, maybe you just caught Justin off guard.”

Clay shook his head “I gave him more than enough time to respond, all he did was open and close his mouth in that time, probably thinking of ways to turn me down gently.”

Tony couldn’t help but think that Justin was an idiot because only him would screw up when being told what he wanted to hear for a long time.

Caleb was the one to break the most resent silence “look, regardless of what happens, Justin is still going to love you, as a brother, friend, or something more, you guys just need to figure this out.”

“I don’t think I can face him right now.”

“Ok, fine, don’t deal with this today, stay here tonight, and tomorrow you can have this conversation with Justin” said Tony realizing Clay need to calm down. Clay tended to do this, get in his head and think of the worse options.

“Ok” softly responded Clay with a small nod.

* * *

Justin waited for Clay in their room. As time passed and he saw no indication of Clay coming home he texted him several times asking where he was, if he was fine, when he was coming home, and that he needed to speak with him. Clay never replied. The last time Justin looked at the clock it was midnight. He fell asleep soon afterwards without meaning to.

When Justin woke up it was 9:30 am and the first thing he noticed was that Clay wasn’t in his bed or in the bathroom. He checked his phone again and still no new messages or calls. He went over to the shower in the main house and saw that no one was using it then he checked the kitchen where he ran into Matt and Lainie.

“Morning Justin, you’re up early today” said Lainie.

“Yeah, morning” he replied with a smile “actually I’m looking for Clay, he didn’t come home last night, have you seen him?”

“He texted us that he was staying over at Tony’s, he didn’t tell you?” inquired Matt.

“No” he said with disappointment “he must have forgotten.”

“Is everything ok Justin?” questioned Lainie sensing something was off.

“Everything is cool I just want to talk with Clay about something” said Justin in an upbeat mood trying to dissuade their worry.

“Alright, if you need anything, we’re here for both of you” said the older man.

“I know, thank you” and Justin was thankful to have people there for him now, a family. He wondered how they would react after Justin and Clay deal with this. Would they be ok if Justin and Clay were in a relationship? Would they want them to be apart? What if they thought Justin wasn’t good enough for Clay? Justin knew they both care about him, but Clay was the real son, and Justin was still a ticking time bomb with his addiction. Yesterday he felt like getting high, especially when he got home, and Clay wasn’t there.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” asked Lainie one more time.

“Yes, I was just lost in thought, I’m going to go pick Clay up” said Justin as he left the main house. He went back to his room to grab some clothes, then he took a shower back at the main house, got dressed, got the keys for Clay’s car and took off.

* * *

It was currently 10:30 am “Clay, I think it’s time to go home and speak with Justin.”

Tony was right. Clay needed to speak with Justin, face the music and get turn down. It would be the only way for him to move on from all of this. Funny that all of sudden he needed to get over Justin when a short time ago he wasn’t even aware his feeling for Justin were far more than just platonic.

Then there was a knock at the door “Tony, is Justin, is Clay with you?”

All rationale and mature way to handle this left Clay’s mind. He intercepted Tony who was heading for the door “I’m not here” he whispered.

“What the hell do you mean you’re not here? You’re right here.”

“Clearly I’m here, but when you open the door you tell Justin I’m not.”

“What am I supposed to say?”

“I don’t know, tell him I was kidnapped during the night.”

“Seriously?”

“Clearly I’m being sarcastic, just make something up.”

Before Tony could respond Justin knocked again “Tony!!” Clay used that moment and hid in another room. Tony begged every deity in existence to bestow him with patience because this was some bullshit he did not need to deal with.

“Hey Justin” greeted Tony with his best poker face as he opened the door.

“Hey Tony, is Clay in here?”

“No” was the short response.

Justin was confused and worried “he texted his parents last night that he would be spending the night here.”

“He did. He left about an hour ago.”

“I have his car” said Justin confused.

“Right…he said he wanted to go for a walk, he’ll probably call an Uber or something when he’s ready” this whole conversation was frustrating Tony. Then to make things worse Justin took out his cellphone and called Clay. Of course, Clay left his cellphone on the sofa easily visible to Justin’s eyesight the second it began ringing loudly. Tony cursed in his head. Justin hanged up the call and pointed at the cellphone in confusion. Tony stared at it in silence for a couple of seconds before responding “it looks like he forgot he’s phone.”

“I’ll bring it to him” offered Justin.

“It’s alright, once he realize he doesn’t have it on him he’ll probably come back.”

“In that case I’ll wait here.”

Tony felt like hitting someone. It didn’t help that he could hear Caleb loudly sighing in clear judgement from the kitchen. “I think it’ll be for the best if you just wait for him at home rather than ambush him here.”

That got Justin attention and he made one of those hurt faces which make you want to hold him and assure him everything was going to be ok “what did he say?”

“Just that he needed sometime before he could speak to you… so just give him some space Justin” said Tony sympathetically.

“I really screwed up last night and Clay is the most important person in my life, and I just need him to know that ok” said Justin as he looked passed Tony and into the house expecting Clay to come out.

“I’ll make sure to tell him that when he comes back for his phone” was Tony’s response.

Justin gave a sigh in frustration “sure… thanks Tony, take care” he said as he walked away from the house and into the car in clear disappointment.

“No problem man take it easy” responded Tony as he closed the front door “Clay, I hate you.”

Clay came back into the main room “what did I do?”

“Are you serious? That was a really awkward conversation and the guy looked like a kicked puppy.”

“He does that. Did you look him in the eyes? Because you’re supposed to look at his feet when he gets like that” Clay has no idea the number of times he has given into Justin just because of his eyes. The fact that he gets lost in Justin eyes should have probably been another red flag about his feelings “I feel like I should have realized my feelings for Justin a lot sooner than yesterday.”

“You think?!” asked Tony and Caleb in unison and with maximum sarcasm available.

“Seriously Clay, he wants to speak with you, so speak with him.”

“I know, but he is going to turn me down, and be incredibly nice about it, and I know I need to be ok with that, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to maintain a straight face when the real moment comes.”

This time Caleb took charge of the conversation “ok Clay, you realized you caught him by surprised when you confessed, sometimes people don’t know how to react regardless if it’s going to be the reaction you wanted or didn’t want, there is no guarantee he is going to turn you down.”

Clay shook his head “look is Justin, he has experience with relationships, he would have known how to react if it was going to be something I would have liked, he was trying to spare my feelings.”

“Or he was so overwhelmed with the revelation he didn’t know how to react because, and I quote, you are the most important person in his life” said Tony in frustration.

Part of Clay wanted to believe Tony. Part of him wanted to hope that Justin would feel the same way. But the idea of getting his hopes up and then getting them crushed terrified him. “I’ll talk to him tonight” said Clay as he began getting up and getting the few things, he brought with him “I think I’ll go for a long walk before heading home.”

Clay said his goodbyes to Tony and Caleb. He would always be grateful to Tony, he owed him so much he could not even begin to show him how thankful he was for everything he’s ever done for him, not just today. He knew he had pretty much intruded in their night and he couldn’t just hide at Tony’s forever.

* * *

Clay did end up taking a really long walk. The possible longest walk he could ever take. Surprisingly it took him straight to where everything began, at Monet’s. Fate was funny this way. He supposed this was inevitable. Clay figured he might as well get some coffee before heading home and facing the inevitable. However, he never figured he would run into Justin when he was not working there. Justin took notice of him the second he walked through that door. 

Both boys were clearly surprised to see the other. They were frozen, not knowing how to continue forward. Clay Jensen recovered first and he did the only sensible thing he could think of in that spot. He bolted out of Monet’s. Justin Foley would react soon thereafter. Not willing to let Clay run from him from the same place a second time. He left the money on the counter for what he had ordered and immediately ran after Clay. He was surprised Clay could run that fast for someone that hated exercising at all. However, eventually he managed to corner Clay, when he turned at an alley without an exit.

“Clay I-” “Justin!! Can we please do this later?” interrupted Clay. He would give anything at this moment to postpone this conversation.

However, Justin, had the opposite thought. He needed to have this conversation. Every second it didn’t happen he felt like his life was ending. “We can but, I don’t think is going to make it any easier” said Justin as he walked closer to Clay.

“Justin” said Clay in warning as Justin came closer.

“I just need to say this, please, let me say this” Clay really hated when Justin gave him the puppy dog look with that voice. Because how could Clay say no to that. He gave Justin a nod signaling for him to continue. “I’m sorry for last night, I shouldn’t have stayed silent like that, I should have responded.”

Clay did not want to hear this “is alright Justin, I got it loud and clear, I’ll get over it ok, is no big deal.”

“I don’t want you to get over it.”

“What?” asked Clay in shock.

“I don’t want you to get over your crush.”

“Why not?” Clay’s heart was beating faster but he didn’t want to get his hopes up in case he was misreading things.

“Because I’m in love with you” he said it. Justin Foley finally said the words he has thought of saying for so long yet never allowed himself to say out loud. Then like a repeat of last night everything went uncomfortably silent. It didn’t help that they were having this discussion in an alley.

“You don’t” were the words Clay spoke as he broke the silence.

“What do you mean I don’t?”

Clay got angry at that “because you don’t! you’re just saying that because you think that’s what I want to hear!”

Justin scoffed at that, also getting mad “I’m saying that I love you because I love you!”

“You don’t love me in the same way that I love you, you said as much last night!”

“I didn’t say anything last night!”

“That was response enough Justin, seriously don’t… just don’t ok… not with this. I’m sorry I said anything, I know I made things awkward between us and I don’t want you to feel like you need to do this for us to continue to be family.”

Justin let a frustrated laugh “are you serious, you think this is a pity confession. Jesus Jensen, only you would be this oblivious” Justin looked around making sure there was no one around. Even though it should be obvious there was no one in this alley except them . “I’m going to admit to some stuff I haven’t admitted to anyone else ok, which means I will denied all of it till the end of my life should anyone else ask.”

“I’ve been in love with you far longer than you haven been in love with me.”

“What?” asked Clay in shock.

“Just wait, ok?”

Clay nodded as he responded “fine.”

“Look… I’ve been in love with you ever since you helped me with my tie for my court date” Justin spend a moment looking at Clay before continuing “that was the time I first I noticed I was 100% in love with you, however, I knew I had feelings for you before, specifically, when you and Tony first found me you triggered a lot of buried feelings I had for you Jensen.”

Clay was not sure how to process anything of what he was hearing “what feelings are you talking about? we didn’t have any positive interactions before that, like none at all.”

“I’ve been bisexual since a while ago ok… a long while, and I first noticed you when I was looking for Jeff and I saw you laugh at something he said during our freshman year. Then, I noticed you when we had that project where I ended up switching you so you would partnered up with Kat while I worked with Bryce. I was so jealous of Kat that I ended up asking her out by the end of the week.”

“Justin stop” all of this was making Clay feel weird and he didn’t know if it was the good kind of weird or the bad kind.

“No, you need to know this” said Justin determined “the reason I first asked Hannah out was because you were spending so much time with her and I didn’t want you spending so much time with her, I was jealous and I handled the situation badly, because I was scared of what people would say about me Clay, but, I had feelings for you back then, even if I didn’t really understand the full scope of them.”

“Look I’ve liked you since back then and I’ve just never done anything about it. I liked you when you first asked me to be adopted by your family and I just thought that was as much I was going to get of you reciprocating my feelings for you, ever.”

Clay didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to respond because just a few minutes ago he wouldn’t never had though Justin would feel the same way about him. Yet here he was confessing to things which would force them to change their whole dynamic from here on out.

“Is this for real, or just you, being nice about everything?”

“For fucks sake, are you for real, trust me I know how I feel about you. I’ve pretended not to like you long enough for me to know when I’m bullshitting myself.”

Clay wanted to believe Justin. However, he was terrified at the prospect of opening himself again to someone else, even if when he last did it was impulsive in nature. “Why would you like me?” asked Clay incredulously “I mean your Justin Foley, start athlete, and even back then, there are a lot people more attractive than me.”

Justin scoffed at that “first of all I don’t think you really get to choose who you fell in love with” said the taller boy as he walked closer to Clay. Clay remained rooted to his spot “second, I’m not really sure who I would consider to be more attractive than you… because you are fucking beautiful” said Justin as the space between them disappeared.

Clay swallowed “Jeff was really attractive, and Zach is pretty good looking, so is Scott, George, and Alex.”

“Clay, I’m really not interested in hearing who you find attractive unless is me.”

“Right…what now?”

Justin put his right hand on Clay’s cheek. Clay leaned into the touch “can I kiss you?” asked Justin softly.

“Yes” was Clay’s equally soft response.

Justin closed the distance between them and delivered the softest kiss Clay had ever experienced. It was everything he wanted in a kiss. He could see why Hannah had been so happy with her first kiss. For Justin it was like finally reaching the destination of a journey that had taken him years, only for the reward to be 1000 times better than he could ever imagine. He never would have thought he would actually get his chance with Clay Jensen.

“That was-” said Clay not being able to finish his statements.

“That was good… wasn’t it?” wondered Justin nervously.

Clay gave a soft smile “that was amazing.”

Justin smiled back “yeah” he said as he leaned in and stole another kiss. A longer one this time.

As they pulled away Clay couldn’t help but ask “so you’ve liked me for a long time huh?”

Justin blushed “oh my god, shut up.”

“I just want to get the facts straight” said Clay teasingly.

“First of all, there is nothing straight about the facts, second, I will denied everything, I realized I loved you, after you confessed, that is the story I’m sticking to.”

Clay raised his eyebrow in clear judgement “I like hearing how you felt about me” he said as he put his arms around Justin’s neck.

“Yeah?” queried the taller boy as he place his hands on Clay’s hips.

“Yeah” was the swift response as they kissed once more.

The end.


End file.
